Further Proof I Live In A Sitcom. >_>

[whiteadelphi]

webfoot and zig_zag123 and I all took off up to the hills tonight to borrow Webby's stepmother's swimming pool.  Over dinner (a very nice dinner!) a bunch of people swapped SPIDER HORROR STORIES about, you know, massive dinner-plate sized spiders turning up where you least expect them out in the hills.  You know.  In the kitchen.  Collected with the mail.  That sort of thing.

This makes arachnophobes very nervous, you know.  (Apparently I lied about not getting nervous often.  Phobias are a special case >_>)  To the point that when I decided to go back into the house to change I was checking every corner with great paranoia, expecting to see massive shadowed furry things crawling on the walls. 

Locked myself in the bathroom to change.  Yes.  No spiders in here. 

...best check just in case.

WA: <_<
Spiders: *totally fail to appear on the left side of the bathroom*
WA: >_>
Spiders: *nope, not on the right side either*
WA: Well, that's a relief.  Guess I'll change.
Spider: Psst!
WA: What?
Spider: Look down.
WA: *looks down*
Spider: *sitting on top of bountiful breasts* Hi! ^_^
WA: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH--you know what, fuck it.  *flicks spider off chest*

Somewhere out there, God sits with one hand on the 'torment WA' button and the other hand stuffed into a carton of popcorn.  It's also possible God wears a dentist's coat and likes to set people on fire on a regular basis...

Had a good weekend otherwise.  Hee.

Comments

[bunnymaccool.livejournal.com]

being as I am a Texan, which we lovingly call The-Land-Wherein-God-Dropped-All-the-Creepy-Things ..... you have my full understanding and sympathy.

Being also a spider-phobe EXTRAORDINAIRE ... you give me goosebumps with this story.

Spider + landing on Bunny's boobs = ded Bunny on floor from heart failure. *nodnod*

NOW I SHARE MY STORY, YES!?!? ^_^

Bunny: *standing atop super-steep-stairs-of-death with armful of laundry*
Giant Wolf Spider: HELLU!!! =D *standing atop armful of laundry within 2 inches of Bunny's face*
Bunny: O___O
Giant Wolf Spider: ^______^
Bunny: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWH! WOEN AEAOWEIFJAEFKANSDF;KASJDFASEF!!! *FLING*
Giant Wolf Spider: O__O
*THUMP*THUMP*THUMP*CRACK*CRASH*THUMP*THUMP*SPRAIN*SPLEEN*THUMP*THUMP*
...
...
Bunny: *in heap at bottom of super-steep-stairs-of-death covered in laundry ... no idea where spider is*
Giant Wolf Spider: *hiding* heh heh heh ...
Bunny: *cautiously gathers heaps of laundry keeping an eye out for GWS*
Giant Wolf Spider: *still hiding* hehehehehe....
Bunny: *super-duper-cautiously stuffs laundry in washer while screaming inside*
Giant Wolf Spider: TAAAAADAAAAAAAAA!!!! =D *jumps to top of just-loaded-into-washer-laundry*
Bunny: X___x!! *SLAM* DROWN YOU CREEPY LITTLE *&%^%*&^(&**)(&)*(N_*(&bitch!!!! HAH!!!! SUCK ME SIDEWAYS YOU DIRTY PIRATE WH@RE!!!!
Bunny's Dad: ................ >__> *wanders off*
Giant Wolf Spider: *is soup*

^_________^

♥!!!

[whiteadelphi.livejournal.com]

Oh my god. That terrifies me. ;_; And ... makes me laugh, just because of the awesomeness of the way you wrote it. >D But ...GAH. You win. Hands down.

(Of course, then there was the story of the black furry thing that decided to walk between us and the television last year. UG put it in a tupperware container and took it outside, and then stood there frozen with his hands trapping it in the dish while it started shedding SPIDER BABEEZ EVERYWHERE.

Me, I'm just glad he took it outside before it used our living room as Spider ER Central ...>.>)

[procurerfaith.livejournal.com]

Holy Lord, I'm no arachnophobe, but I think witnessing that might actually turn me into one...>.>

[bunnymaccool.livejournal.com]

i just have to think about it and I get all shivery-twitchy and GAAAH! ... ick ick ick ick ... >_

[bunnymaccool.livejournal.com]

it was funny about 24hours later... when I'd had time to take stock of bruises and deal with it ... XD

... but the spider... not so much ... wolf spiders and their big CREEPY eyes... GAAAAAAAH!! and the ones we kept getting were pretty fair size... 4 or 5 inches or so. >_< it gives me the shivers NOW, thinking about it ... and this was...... maybe ten years ago.

my mom woke up one morning (in the same house) and found another GWS sitting on her pillow, staring at her. O__O ... how that house didn't give me heart failure, I'll never know.

X_x I'm not sure I would survive spiderbabies everywhere... *shiver*twitch*

[procurerfaith.livejournal.com]

XD XD Bun-bun, have I told you lately that I love you? XD <3

[bunnymaccool.livejournal.com]

yes... but it doesn't hurt to hear it more! XD XD XD

♥!!!!