May. 13th, 2012 03:01 pm
whiteadelphi: (Default)
[personal profile] whiteadelphi
I think I may be cursed with university. Not that I'm dropping out, but certainly there are factors contributing to make this as difficult as possible.

Went on antidepressants a few weeks ago to try and combat my horrible moods enough to continue going, and got hit with a nailbat-load of side effects. In fact, all the problems I usually associate with extreme thyroxine withdrawal: freezing cold, fatigue, and the bleakest desire to just sort of sit there and die. Kinda sucks.

But we've ruled thyroxine out, because my levels test came back fine. Annnd so we're looking at other factors and...

...the doctor said it very offhandedly, but he might have a point.

Hormonally I've been all over the place for-- well, forever, but especially badly for the last little while. I went without a period for a year, then got it back at the end of February. And then a month later, like clockwork, which is actually unexpected, and it was extremely heavy. Extremely. As in "I can't stand up without having to change my jeans" heavy. Kinda made it hellish to do anything, including keep my dignity. University was a no go the last week before the holidays as a result.

And then my mood flatlined and didn't come back on board when I returned like I thought, so hence the anti-depressant attempt because I didn't want to just idle out of university in a ball of useless self pity. ~_~ And then I started exhibiting all the signs of PMS.

Three weeks ago. No sign of the other foot dropping.*

And with alternating between freezing and hot flashes and dripping with sweat and being shaky after a ten minute walk and-- I haven't been to university much of late. (My doctor has now written me a letter.) With thyroxine withdrawal out of the question, my doctor asked me if I thought maybe I was just going through extremely early menopause.

I'm beginning to think he's right I'm only 37, but my body has always been a little ahead of its time. B| Shingles at 18 and cancer most often suffered by people in their 50s at 26 (or discovered at 26, had it since 18-20) and... menopause often comes early for those with conditions like PCOS (hi) or who have undergone radiation exposure (also hi), and so...

...I guess I'm not sure if I can find out for sure, because it's sort of unpredictable, apart from undergoing hormone checks or some such. But if that's the case, I guess I'm currently getting crucified between depression, antidepressant side effects, and my body going haywire as it brings a certain thankless part of its cycle to a close.

And I guess a case can just be made for KJ Is Extremely Unlucky When It Comes to Medical Issues And Is Just Suffering A Ridiculous Amount Of Side Effects From That Medication, because they're all listed as such. I don't know.

Either way, things are very... off kilter with me right now. Unsure how things will go. I may have to switch to doing my degree by correspondence if this keeps up, but it's a little too soon to tell for that. But feeling miserable for weeks and weeks on end (both physically and emotionally) is not very conducive to good marks in university. Bah.

Anyway, this is why I haven't been updating despite all statements that I'd try to keep up more often. When I can type something up that isn't "I feel like dirt," I'll let you know? 8D?


* Watch. I post this and I'll get my period tomorrow. B|

Date: 2012-05-13 01:12 pm (UTC)
ekmisao: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ekmisao
Some of this is caused by the over-stress. Too much adrenalin sending signals to the other hormones, sending them off-balance. (speaking from partial experience which sucks greatly) (hugs and hopes it all improves)


whiteadelphi: (Default)

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