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[personal profile] whiteadelphi
Haha, in trying to actually process and explain how I feel tonight, I actually had this conversation with Shira that just about covers it:



Shira
THIS IS MY 'not surprised at all' FACE XDDDD
it is also an excited and happy one XD
BUT NOT SURPRISED AT ALL.

KJ
Hee |D I was over the moon. It's a wonderful pick me up wh en you've begun to doubt if you're actually worth anything >>

Shira
oh, I'll bet *HUG*
but see, I've always thought you were brilliant, so ^^

KJ
<3

Shira
I'M NOT SURPRISED IT WAS CONFIRMED
ALTHOUGH ONE PERCENT IS A BIT SHOCKING

Shira
TOP TEN WAS KIND OF EXPECTED
BUT ONE PERCENT IS A BIT MORE EXCLUSIVE XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

KJ
lmao yes
I was pegging that I was in the top ten honestly
because I know I'm intelligent

Shira
pff, yeah

KJ
and when you walk into a room and look at test questions and go "I know the answer, that's easy" I expect do to well
but
I was fantasising about being told I was in the top 1%. Literally.
and then following it with "psh, but that won't happen."

Shira
XDDDDD
KJ!!!!
/happy glee!

KJ
and I've spent all evening actually bursting into random bouts of tears would you believe >_>

Shira
lol, yes <3
although crying a bit rare for you, so you're probably just going through. intense processing issues.

KJ
I think it was just this huge relieving thing?

Shira
but you should be damn proud

KJ
and like I
oh I am very proud
and so happy
but I've just gone through the flattest of flat patches
and it's like this wonderful wonderful news sort of took a hammer to it
and I feel kinda shattered. It's weird.

Shira
/nodnod
I understand

KJ
it's shattered in a good way!

Shira
It's like: Oh, there's MOVEMENT

KJ
yes!

Shira
and look, I can DO THINGS
I really get that

KJ
I've been tearful and I can feel sadness in there, but it's at the same time "no no, these tears are good for me"

Shira
/nodnod

KJ
so yes. happy. |D

Shira
Sometimes there's even pain in good things and in moving forward
I mean like. You don't have to look further in the human condition than birth to see that pattern >>

KJ
true

Shira
So it makes sense that moving from one stage to the something else could be like that - mixed emotions?

KJ
actually do you mind if I post this conversation 8|a I was tryig to think of ways to explain how I felt tonight and this kinda covers it.
yes!

Shira
Go right ahead! <3

KJ
<33

Shira
I'm so, so happy for you KJ
it makes my heart hurt, I'm so happy XD

KJ
me tooooo /picks you up and spins you round in a massive e-hug

Shira
/e-HUG!!!!




Yeah. I keep meaning to write up an entry on how going to sit for this STAT test actually ended me up in therapy for only vaguely related reasons. @_@ I will get on to that. And post more. Honest.

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whiteadelphi

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